Friday, June 26, 2009

Just when you think things can't get worse......

Then they get terrible.

My mother in law has dementia, to me one of the most cruel of malady's. Your loved one slips away a little at a time, until the shell that's left is an object of pity, that doesn't know you anymore. The love of my life has been adjusting to that reality for a year or so now, not easy but doable.

A week or so ago the motherinlaws vitals dropped almost out of sight, she was recovering in the ICU with some testing, when someone did a CT looking for a stroke, and found a tumor the size of a tennis ball in her frontal lobe.

With that news, we basically threw everything down and ran for home. I put TLOML on a plane in Portland, Oregon at 17:30 on the sixteenth and ran for home. 3200 miles, in four days.

The MIL is losing body functions at a rate slowed by steroids and cushioned by dilantin.

The Love of my life is now trying to prepare herself, no hope there, and is wound tighter than a spring. There is some doubt if the MIL will make into the new week.

Amazingly enough, she is awake all night and sleeps all day. She is hard to wake, but manages with some help. Today they woke her and dressed her and put her in a wheel chair, when I walked in the room she recognised me.

It absolutely broke my heart

It's the only time that I could hug her and kiss her face, previously she did not react well to affection from me. Sadly that was never a big problem.

We had all the youngest there for pictures, it wasn't planned, it just happened. The tiniest came all the way from Japan with her mother (of course).

The MIL looks better than a lot of the residents, but we know it's drugs and can't last.

TLOML has been to fun places like the Funeral home to make arrangements in advance of the event, probably a good idea. It seems to be a little unsettling though.

What do you do with this?

I guess we will muddle through, it's not like we have a choice.

If there is a plus side to this, it would be that it will be quicker than dementia and, in a sense, cleaner.

Sad, but that's the best you can make of it.


Brigid said...

I am so sorry. My stepmom has been going through the same. She survived cancer a year and a half ago, and now this. Two years ago she was still hiking and sewing and driving. Now she doesn't know us half the time. She and my Dad ahve been married over 20 years, my Mom died when I was in school.

I took a hiatus from work and went out there to help set up a housekeeper and a nurse and all, I can only tell you that I will be praying for you and your family.

Hammer said...

I'm sorry to hear this.

All my best to you and yours during this difficult time.

Gerald said...

It's tough! Been there and I can tell you it's not easy, but I know you will be okay. My thoughts and prayers to you and your wife.

Larry said...

My mother in law died the week before Mother's Day.
All the best to you and TLOYL.