Monday, January 4, 2010

The Elephant in the Room

I went to say good by to a friend today. She is the sister I always wanted, and tells me I am the brother she never had. Very high praise indeed.

She is the person who, as far as I know, has never done a bad thing to anyone. I have known her for thirty years, and will miss her for as long as I live.

She moved away several years ago and I lost track. A time or two I would run into mutual friends who would give me up dates. Like most people I was so busy trying to live that I lost touch with the very best people I know.

One friend told me she had developed breast cancer and another told me she was in remission. I didn't even know where to start looking to find her.

Just past the end of my nose would have been a start, but I was so busy.

While Christmas shopping I ran into a mutual friend who knew what was going on, the lady told me that she has bone cancer, that has spread to her brain.

TLOML and I resolved that I should visit and be quick about it, for that chance once lost could not be recovered. I called a friend today to start tracking her down, and found she was visiting her old home near here. I made a call and as quick as I could drove to where she was.

I held the speed down to something under a hundred. There was no reason to hurry, but I wanted to have as much time with her as I could. Walking in was as hard as anything I have done in a long time.

Manly image and expectations be damned. I wanted to be strong for her, well, I blew that one out my whatever. After a litte while I calmed down enough to feel her acceptance of her fate. She was not bitter or afraid. I hope that when my time comes I can muster one tenth of the grace she wears like a crown.

We visited for about four hours and I held her hand the whole time. We talked and laughed about all our old friends and things we had done. We spent our time catching up on all the things I had missed.

We talked about everything except the elephant in the room.

When I finally had to say good bye, and it was a final farewell, for I know I will never see her in this life again, we gently touched the subject.

I kissed her forehead and her hand and told her that I loved her and would miss her forever.

An angel will soon leave us and the world will be a poorer place with out her.

1 comment:

Larry said...

The wife and I spend a lot of time not talking about her lung cancer too.