Saturday, April 27, 2013

Crazy…….

We got on the subject of crazy today. Who is, who we think might be crazy, those that are certifiable and then just general crazy.
Beautiful women always have a great big box of crazy, that they use as occasion demands. If they don’t get their way for instance, they get out the crazy. They sometimes don’t even know themselves, what they want, but they know that isn’t it. Don’t make me get out my crazy on you.
This leads to discussions like, “you should know what I want”, or “that’s not the right (enter size, shape, color, shade as appropriate), even though you are certain it never came up in the first place.
Then there are priorities like stopping the bull dog from eating a neighbor or friend, but don’t hurt the dog, just tell the person to get their limb out of the dogs mouth. It has to be their fault right?
There’s always the “porn star in training” outfit that is worn in an unfortunate place, and then she gets ticked off because guys stare. Ok, I can see things that you wouldn’t show your mother at home, and you expect me to not stare. Fine, I’ll start carrying bags for my head so I won’t look.
I had a girlfriend tell me “Look the girls in the swimwear store are in bikinis!”. I hadn’t noticed, but when being told to “look”, I did and was berated for following instructions.
Then as we all know at the wrong time in the hormonal cycle, nothing is right, nothing fits, tears or screaming are flickering just behind the eyes.
Run for your life!
The crazy we deal with at work is sort of general, do this, don’t do that, work at a fevered pace but don’t hurry.  Make friends with the alligators that you are up to your butt in, while draining the swamp, but don’t hurry and don’t make a mistake.
Another kind of crazy is the control freak who needs to impose his will, who bypasses you casually, then criticizes you for not being able to meet the job requirements.
We were talking about removing the plug and draining the crazy tank, but are now afraid to start, what if the threads on the plug gall, and we don’t have a tap to restore the threads, then we will have crazy leaking out and no way to stop it.
How crazy is that?

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