Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Nature or nurture, or does it really matter?

In the continuing introduction to "Rednecks I have Known", (or is that Red Necks I have Knowed?) I will move on to one of the patriarchs of the clan. Dufus is the stepfather of my longtime friend. Killer, gambler, drunk, pedophile possibly, and all around dangerous man. Dangerous because he will never back down, unafraid or stupid, take your best guess. Considering he gets his butt whipped every time the rodeo starts, I know what I think.

Dufus is actually a very personable type, friendly to a fault, unless there is alcohol, or a dissenting opinion involved. Then, my suggestion would be to have your gun in hand, I don't know, nor care to find out how good he is. I do know he has killed five men, maimed three, and survived five years incarcerated at the age of sixty. It is interesting to note that he is the better of the mothers marriages.

He and his family have regular get togethers on weekends, and sit around to discuss who is going to jail next, or how they intend to lie their way out of some charge or other. My friend is always found sitting in a corner so no one can get behind him or approach unseen. He is one of the craziest people I know, and he's not comfortable.

I feel as though I have told you that these icons of their community are only interested in mayhem. Nothing could be further from the truth. They enjoy fishing, hunting, camping, and sports that they can bet on. Why a few years ago they completely fished out a trophy trout stream, with dynamite. Never missed a single fish.

The hunting, they need to be a little more careful, felons are not allowed to own guns. The solution to this really minor inconvenience is to have the women folk buy them for the boys to borrow. They don't read well, so sometimes they will forget when the season ended, or when it begins, or limits. For reasons known only to them, the Wildlife Officers are "out to get them", and silly as it seems actually enforce the game laws.

These are the folks who would rather pay a dollar for a beer than twenty five cents for a light bulb. If you get an education then you are "upity", or a know it all. Their education is mostly practical application of the law, from the receiving end.
The remainder was from Dufus, as an example of "proper manly behavior.

A few years ago I was teaching my Ex to shoot a hand gun. I had acquired a hand gun of the caliber she was required to qualify with and had it touched up for accuracy. I handed it to Dufus and asked him how he liked it. He inspected it and allowed it was pretty nice. Then, not to be out done, he pulled a two shot derringer out of a back pocket, and asked what I thought of it. I took it carefully, as there was no doubt it was loaded, and asked "How do you unload this thing?". He showed me and unloaded the weapon. I looked it over, and tried to cock it to try the trigger. The hammer wouldn't stay back, so I asked him "How do you cock it?". He watched me fiddle with the hammer for a second, then his face went slack in shock. His illegal concealed weapon, that he carried because he might need it, didn't work. You can trust me on this, the crowd he ran with, he was going to need it sooner or later.
In a hushed tone he said "I guess I need to take this back to the man I got it from."

Yep, reckon you should.

All of Dufus children, natural or by marriage, with one exception, are felons. The one who isn't,,,,, I have spent hours at a sitting talking him down off the ledge, so to speak. The only exception worked for his education, and made a success of teaching school.

So, did Dufus example, the environment, or something hard wired in their heads make these lazy ba$t@rds criminals?

I'm thinking we should cut them open and find out.

At least they wouldn't be in the gene pool.

1 comment:

Hammer said...

You've met my inlaws I see ;)