Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Chicks and Guns

I have been reading at several sites around the blogosphere, and it seems like everything kicks out a "reminds me of story". This one will make some of the guys go "hmmmmm".

After nineteen years of marriage, I found myself single and almost forty. The first thing I did was go out and find a girlfriend too young and way crazier than me. She had led quite the sheltered life and didn't know what to think of me and my strange ways. She was a tree hugger; let's pet the bears sort of individual. Hunting and shooting were completely foreign to her nature. Please don't get the idea that this was some sort of retiring little flower. Absolutely not, if she got the wind in her sails she would tear me a new orifice in an instant. Which makes teaching her about guns a little insane, but, there you go, that’s me

I have some really strange acquaintances: murderers, moonshiners, car thieves, drug dealers, career military, ex-CIA, I even know one retired gentleman who was in country when Che was killed. Most of them I can't say a lot about because some one will recognize them. One of these guys has, or had, more guns than Wallymart. If you go to his house and sit, when you let your gun hand fall to the side, it will land on something lethal and loaded. He's not paranoid, just really cautious.

We were visiting and kind of hanging out when we decided to go to the range. We took about a truck load of stuff and went to the local indoor shootemup. This gentleman was virtually adopted by the owner of the range, who held the correct license and stamps to possess several full auto weapons, for rent.

Let me explain here that military training aside, I am not a fan of full auto fire. It has its place, but I prefer the one shot one kill scenario. It is, however, lots of fun.

We started the young lady out with a .22 auto pistol, moved on to a 9mm auto, steered clear of the Thompson, and loaded up a full stocked Uzi.

Now guys, chicks with guns, you gotta love 'em! I showed her the method of operating and stepped back. She being a little leery of the weapon (smart girl), asked if I could make it "go one at a time". Sure, click on the selector, she squeezes off two rounds. I get the OK and return it to full auto.

She stood there and ripped off three round bursts, just like she knew what she was doing. She was hooked. She took her silhouette to work and put it on the wall of her cube. It got some thoughtful looks from the folks at Stump Water Nuclear Station.

Now you can let your imagination run wild, insert the lady you would most like to see trying to melt the barrel off a machine gun.

Go ahead, you know you want to.

Since that time I have introduced my wife and youngest step daughter to firearms, and the oldest stepdaughtrer wants to try skeet. The wifes favorites are the .22 pistol and the 10-22 target rifle.

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