Ok, you broke the window because......???

There are some things that just don't help get the job done. Knowing you are out of your mind, and should be scared witless, would be two. Ignorance is bliss, and most times, I'm the happiest guy in town.

There are some people who have always been, and will always be, trouble. They should have large, illuminated signs, floating far enough above them that the passerby would know to shy away. Police would know to keep a weather eye in that direction, well, cops know any way.

I got a call one night fairly early, unknown injury, and the address was just outside town. We, the two female EMT's and my self, hustled to the address and found nothing.

Humph!

Maybe we overshot, I'll have a peep over here at the neighboring house. Yep! I call on the radio to the crew to bring the unit around the house. I can tell this is the place because of my finely tuned intuition and investigative skills, and the pool of blood covering the greater part of the kitchen floor.

This is when every officer in the county "u" turns and heads my way, didn't know it until later. Seems these boys, sons of the Mayor, are known to all and sundry, except me. Their Dad is part of the good ole boy network here 'bouts. They have been involved in drugs, alcohol, and every hair brained dust up that can be named. Daddy, being the richest and most influential dude in town, gets them off every time. No lessons learned.

When I get to the door, I can see two men on the floor, one holding the hand of the other who is unconscious. One man looks up and says something like "help my brother". He looks pretty dead to me, but OK, I got gloves on, let me check a pulse. I walk slowly and carefully through the blood, did you ever notice how slick the floor gets when there 's blood on the tile? This pool was not as deep as it looked, not even half the thickness of my shoe sole. I still didn't want it on my pants. He has a heart beat, so I asks what happened. "He was off his medication and felt a seizure coming on and got pissed off and punched a window. He cut his hand real bad and I just grabbed him and put pressure on it."

The bad news is these are the sober two of four brothers, the other two are behind me. Where the hell they came from I have no idea! The crew is in the unit with the doors locked. I now have two drunk, irate, ner-do-wells, one for each shoulder, like stinky parrots, yelling at me to do something. So, rather than have them behind me, and way too close. I turn to them and move them back. I didn't have to push them or anything, I just faced them and held my hands up between us and they stayed just out of arms reach. As soon as I turned and asked the brother to let me see the injury site, I got drunk parrots again, same routine. I was more than a little worried that they might think the thing to do is to kick my butt to motivate me a little. Who knows what a drunk will do?

It seems conscious brother is afraid seizure brother will start bleeding again. I tell him it's OK, I'll handle it if it does. When brother slowly opens his hand I see, nothing. I wonder how long those two sat there that way. The puncture wound to the back of his hand was sealed and barely visible.

The crew has talked with dispatch and now that they know the cavalry is en route, have decided to come see why my ungainly carcass isn't pinwheeling through the air to the yard. They actually bring a kit and the stretcher. I bandaged the seizure brothers hand, put conscious brother to controlling the parrot brothers, loaded seizure brother and hauled his butt to good old Stump Water General ER. On the way seizure brother wakes up and has some very uncomplimentary things to say about us. The police arrive and have a word of prayer with seizure brother.

The pin head got home before we could get the unit back in service, it took a little longer because seizure brother is HIV+, and as we all know that's extra care for cleanup.

I never saw that lot again, and I don't believe I'll miss them. I only hope the next poor sap that walks into that place has been warned, and has the boys in blue or khaki in tow.