Thursday, January 18, 2007

Build your house on the corner.

I know my children are part of the party generation. These young folks will cut up at the drop of a hat, or any other reason they can make up. I'm talkin' every weekend, all weekend, and go to work so hung over they practically spray blood out of their eyes. No thanks. There are times that the party will, sort of, slop over the sides, where we step in it and have to clean up the mess. One of those times the "X" and I had been in the nearest town with room for more than horse, and on the way back at 0 dark thirty, we rounded a corner, to find every emergency vehicle for the southern end of the county in the road.

Well! Can't get home, might as well help.

Both of us were EMTs at the time, and on the local squad. So, off we go to find out what happened. 10-50 one vehicle, ten or so patients, plus three in the house? One infant, Ok, babies first. The parents and the child were in the house across the street. We ran over and gave them the A,B,C's to X,Y,Zs no problem, except all I had for a light to check pupils was a five cell Mag light with a high out put bulb. I can make you turn your head from across the street with that thing. I bet that child still blinks spots away, his pupils didn't contract, they slammed. Then we stroll back to the scene, to find a dude really making a scene. I haven't heard that much screaming in a while. The heart rending tune of "MY LEGS, MY LEGS!!!" would make the most hardened SHP officer tear up with compassion, except the SHP on scene didn't buy it for a second. If you have any idea that the ambulance ride to the hospital will put beyond the reach, or even out of sight of an LEO, forget it. Ain't happenin'. About now, with nothing to do I'm getting a little bored, so I start to look around, and see a bashful little guy with lot's of scratches. I ask him who he is, and he answers "I'm the driver, is he gonna be alright?".
Well, Well, son you don't look too well, why don't you sit right here on this fire truck, I think I know someone who wants to chat with you.

He sits.

I went to the nice officer and recounted the testimony. Oh, Really, sez he, and strolls over to the kid. Distress calls will bring 'em every time. The kid heard his bud wailing and walked in to find out how bad it was. It turns out that after impact anyone sober enough to navigate had run down to the creek (think water moccasin, black mud, and cat claw briar) through an electric fence, and into the water, to hide. Now with the perp we get the story. Big party, everyone wants to go to a bigger party, everyone piles into the nearest pickup truck, four in the front, six or so in the back, and off they go. Down the Green Lewis road toward the Half Hell road. The driver is making good time down the straight stretch, and discovers way too late that this isn't a cross road, there is a house in the way. All he has time to do is close his eyes and they are airborne.

Big Air.

The family residing in the soon to be rubble house is in the front room. Daddy is holding baby, momma is standing by the door, when the lights from the truck at the stop sign just keep coming. On impact Daddy and baby are thrown through the doorway into the kitchen. Momma is bouncing around the front room like a tennis ball. When all come to rest, Daddy doesn't know if he has been teleported, or just kicked to the kitchen. Baby is ready to do it again, and Momma is about to wet herself. I don't blame her.

When we started to look at the truck it was still crammed under the porch, kind of. Boards from the front porch were crammed in the radiator, front tires flat, and the whole thing with a squashed look. That's when we realised the house was off the foundation. Great time of day! We measured the paint line to the chimney and found he had driven the house three feet off the piers. This was not a mobile home it was stick built frame construction.

The most amazing thing about this tale is no one died, on was even seriously hurt, God Does smile on stupid people.
There are lots of morals in this story, but first and foremost, don't build in front of a road.

Build your house on the corner.

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